This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
