So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize