True but thats because hes a fetus.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
