he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
