She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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