That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
