What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
is that a dick in a sweater?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
