what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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