i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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