The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
