Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize