did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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