There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
