I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
