i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
