that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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