I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
