I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize