To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
