at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
