In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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