i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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