i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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