I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
