Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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