Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
