not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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