Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
