Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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