bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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