Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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