I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
