Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize