Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
