I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
