so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize