ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
