Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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