so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize