There is no way he is gay with that hair.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize