he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
