You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
