It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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