very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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