I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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