erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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