thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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