my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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