He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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