I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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