I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
