So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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