I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
