went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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