Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
