Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
