you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
