they're like a gay fantastic four
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
