Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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