after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You may now shotgun with the bride
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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