I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Houston, we have a blender
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
