A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
