She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
