Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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