how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
