She announced her abortion via fbk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
