Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
did i walk over a car last night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
