Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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