Don't make out with my wife yet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
